The Experience of Parenting With Neurodivergent Children
How to navigate through the daily routines of parenting neurodivergent children with autism and ADHD.
Many of you may already know our oldest daughter Yuri and our youngest daughter Skye are both Neurodivergent. Yuri is autistic, while Skye has ADHD. Parenting can be a very challenging, yet rewarding experience for many that decide to start a family. Although no two households are exactly the same, it’s always important to gain a better understanding of our children’s needs and how to adjust our parenting style to accommodate them. When it comes to parenting neurodivergent children, there are some additional challenges, both good and bad, to consider as part of the equation. Sometimes it can be a little more different or unfamiliar to us, but it’s always important to approach the situation with love and care.
The term “Neurodivergent” itself is fairly new in the medical community, so some people may not fully understand what it means and how it affects the parenting experience.
What does it mean to be Neurodivergent?
Neurodivergent is a term used to describe individuals that have brain processes that behave and/or learn differently from everyday people. Neurodivergent children often deal with multiple disabilities such as Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Asperger’s, and Tourette’s Syndrome just to name a few. Although scientists used to view neurodiversity as an illness or problem, they’ve actually found that there may be some benefits associated with the condition. It can help introduce new ways of processing information and learning for the children that are diagnosed with it.
There are a few different ways that neurodivergent individuals go about manifesting their behaviors and they’re often on a spectrum that ranges from mild symptoms to more obvious displays of their condition. Each person has their own unique experience with being neurodivergent, so it’s difficult to say exactly what specific kinds of symptoms are overarching between everyone that lives with the condition. However, some of the more common signs that tend to be shown may include making sounds or actions repeatedly, limited social interactions, restlessness, and a fixation on certain items or routines. Despite the fact that several different types of disabilities may factor into someone being neurodivergent, two of the most common disorders that are typically associated with the condition are autism and ADHD.
How does Autism & ADHD come into play?
Autism (also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD) is a wide variety of conditions that are associated with social skills, communication/speech patterns, and learning behaviors. Children with autism tend to exhibit repetitive & obsessive behavior that leads them to be very active and move around constantly. This also coincides with ADHD, a medical disorder that stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Someone with ADHD lives with different brain activity and development from neurotypical individuals, which leads them to find it difficult to sit still and pay attention for extended periods of time.
Even though autism and ADHD are two separate conditions, it’s actually quite common for certain people to live with both of them. Studies have shown that around 30 % to 80 % of children with autism exhibit certain behaviors that are tied to ADHD and 20% – 50% of children with ADHD met the criteria for austism. It’s more than likely that both conditions are closely linked to one another and stem from the same hereditary roots. Because of how closely they are tied to one another it’s not uncommon for Neurodivergent children to have both ADHD and Autism, along with a variety of other different types of conditions.
So what is it like raising neurodivergent kids?
Decoding the overlap between autism and ADHD
Just like any other kids, neurodivergent children will require a certain amount of nurturing and attention to make sure that they’re comfortable at home. There will be some days that are more difficult than others, but being able to build a foundation for them to feel secure and loved will make it so that they have a safe space to just be themselves when they’re around their family. One of the benefits of raising neurodivergent children is that in many cases they are extremely intelligent and intuitive of their surroundings. Although they may learn differently compared to neurotypical children, they still can process and remember information very effectively.
On the other hand, parenting for neurodivergent kids can also introduce an additional layer of stress and anxiety for the parents. Imagine having to worry about all the usual things that people usually worry about for their kids, such as staying up too late or getting into fights with their siblings, and then also having to worry about the medical aspects of their children living with a disability as well. Because they’re wired slightly differently, sometimes they get aggravated more easily by small occurrences and tend to have more dramatic meltdowns or tantrums. As a parent, it’s important to be understanding and compassionate, not only with their children but also with themselves because they’re just trying to do the best that they can for their family.
While it does require some additional patience to learn more about the disorders and how to help the children that are living with their condition, it helps to establish a routine to put some structure around their daily lives. It provides them with a sense of certainty and understanding that they’re supposed to be doing a specific task or activity during the time that you’ve allocated for them. Once they’ve established a routine, the parents must stay consistent about following through with the process on a daily basis. Even if the children get upset about doing certain tasks, they’ll always be able to reinforce the fact that they do these activities at the same time every day, making them less susceptible to meltdowns.
Before putting together any type of routine for your neurodivergent children, it’s important to consult with a trained medical professional to diagnose their condition and find out the best way to structure their days. In some cases, they may need to take certain kinds of medication throughout the week to treat their condition and that can also be established as part of their routine. The main thing to keep in mind is to always be an active listener for the children and gain a better understanding of how to best help them. Because they’re unique and special in their own ways and deserve to have the right treatment, based on their specific condition.
